Misc.

Misc.

   One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.
   “Yes!” he says, looking and sounding relieved. “This is very important.”
   Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says, “Thanks, I only need one copy.”

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New Year’s Prayer

Dear Lord,

So far this year I’ve done well. I haven’t gossiped, I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I’m very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on I’m probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen

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DON’T LET YOURSELF…

WORRY when you’re doing your best.
HURRY when success depends upon accuracy.
THINK evil of anyone until you have the facts.
BELIEVE a thing is impossible without trying it.
WASTE time on trivial matters.
IMAGINE that good intentions are a satisfying excuse.
HARBOR bitterness toward God or man.

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EMERGENCY PHONE NUMBERS

When in sorrow, call John 14
When men fail you, call Psalm 27
If you want to be fruitful, call John 15
When you have sinned, call Psalm 51
When you worry, call Matthew 6:19-34
When you are in danger, call Psalm 91
When God seems far away, call Psalm 139
When you faith needs stirring, call Hebrews 11
When you are lonely and fearful, call Psalm 23
When you grow bitter and critical, call 1 Corinthians 13
For Paul’s secret to happiness, call Colossians 3:12-17
For an idea of Christianity, call 2 Corinthians 5:5-19
When you feel down and out, call Romans 8:1-30
When you leave home for labor or travel, call Psalm 121
When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call Psalm 67
For a great invention/opportunity, call Isaiah 55
When you want courage for a task, call Joshua 1
How to get along with fellow men, call Romans 12
When you think of investments/returns, call Mark 10
If you are depressed, call Psalm 27
If your pocketbook is empty, call Psalm 37

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The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.
She never existed before.
The woman existed, but the mother, never.
A mother is something absolutely new.

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The path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination.
And though it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith.
It is traveled by belief and courage, persistence and hard work.
It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again.
Along the way, you have to confront doubts, setbacks, and unfairness.
But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true.

~ Barbara Cage

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Remember…just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

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Paul Harvey writes:

   We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I’d like better.
   I’d really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
   I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
   I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
   And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
   It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
   I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
   I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it’s all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room; but when he/she wants to crawl under the covers with you because he’s scared, I hope you let him.
   When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you’ll let him/her.
   I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and you live in a town where you can do it safely.
   On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don’t ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won’t be seen riding with someone as uncool as your mom.
   If you want a slingshot, I hope your dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
   I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
   When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
   I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy/girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
   May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
   I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your uncle.
   May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
   I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor’s window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
   These things I wish for you – tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it’s the only way to appreciate life.
   Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I’m here for you. And if I die before you do, I’ll go to Heaven and wait for you.

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Dog Gone Good Advice

If a dog was the teacher, you would learn stuff like:

  1. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
  2. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
  3. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstacy.
  4. When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
  5. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
  6. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
  7. Take naps. Stretch before rising.
  8. Run, romp, and play daily.
  9. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
10. On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
11. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
12. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
13. No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout! Run right back and make friends.
14. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
15. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
16. Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
17. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
18. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

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44 Things I’ve Learned In Life

  1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
  2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
  3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
  4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Keep in touch.
  5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
  6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing that crying alone.
  8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
  9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, “In five years, will this matter?”
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. what other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
34. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative – dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matter in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

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